so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL
read it here:
|regulusblacking said: top six post-war harry headcanons|
- harry doesn’t reconcile with ginny. they both went through hell but their experience of war is so much different (there is no more common ground, not really). they tried, of course they did (harry felt he’s supposed to), but no matter how hard, it just didn’t work anymore. they weren’t kids any longer and they didn’t know adults they’ve become and it was too painful to get to know each other anew.
- he travels. really he just takes off one day, doesn’t even try to rationalise his decision. he needs room to breathe and there is none in england, not with the ghosts of everyone that died anywhere he goes. so he discovers the world he just saved and there is no plan, there is nothing he has to do and he can relax for the first time in so long. he takes a lot of random portkeys and sometimes just apparates without a clear image in his head, curious what would happen next (the thought of splinching doesn’t bother him much)
- in his travels he never stays in one place for too long (the feeling of someone trying to catch him is still fresh in his memory) but always tries to learn something. just like he discovered the wizarding world when he was eleven, he discovers now how much richer this world actually is and how much it has to offer. he’s still enchanted by magic and so he keeps his eyes wide open and listens to everyone who wants to teach him something new, a different way to use magic.
- he has troubles sleeping (but that’s not really new). no matter what sky he’s under there is death after death replaying against the blackness of his eyelids and he can’t do anything, he can only hopelessly watch and lose his loved ones time and time again. so he wakes in the middle of most nights shivering weeping screaming. and some nights there is some new friend in his bed trying to help him calm down and sometimes it’s just a stranger bc he was so desperate for human touch that day and sometimes he’s all alone and he really can’t tell which version hurts the least.
- he always wanted to be an auror but that was a child’s dream and there is too much blood on his hands already anyway, he can’t keep fighting, he’s so very tired (sometimes he can even tell himself that he’s done enough and believe it). he decides to give those hands a better purpose, use them for something really good and learns to be a healer. school is harder without hermione but for once he actually tries, he wants this. he thinks of all the lives he’ll be able to save (what if he had all this knowledge before) to stay motivated and memorise all the bones in a human body.
- he buys a notebook and he writes in it everyday. at first it’s really hard to get the words out or to make them hold some meaning. there are days when he writes just one sentence (i’m still breathing), there are days when he can’t even look at the empty page, there are days when words are pouring out of him and he can’t stop them and he bleeds on paper and it feels better than the warmest hug. sometimes he writes letters to his friends but he doesn’t always send them (and when he does, it’s the muggle way) and they’re not always to friends who are alive. he once thought about writing an autobiography (he knows rita will do it for him at some point anyway) but the world got his boy who lived and it doesn’t really care about harry, does it?
do you ever stop to think what it would be like if the dursleys were nice to harry? what if their reason for hating magic wasn’t simply that it was magic and they were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much but that it took petunia’s sister away from her and then killed her? what if it wasn’t even really hatred bc wizards are different and not normal but accumulated pain and fear bc some wizards kill?
imagine harry actually being able to call priver drive his home. imagine him having a room like any other kid and playing with dudley and eating full meals every day. imagine dudley defending harry instead of being the one to bully him. imagine the dursleys celebrating harry’s birthdays as well, having his pictures on the walls next to dudley’s, buying him new clothes, hugging him. imagine if they actually told him the truth about his parents, that they had magic and they were killed but they loved him so so much. imagine harry being able to talk with petunia about his mother, to hear stories about her childhood and what was she liked and that he has her eyes and they’re beautiful. imagine harry getting to read his letter at breakfast and be excited bc he’s like his mum and dad, he has magic too.
imagine harry knowing love from the very start.
but now think about this happy harry who would have a family to go back to and ask yourself: would he be so eager to sacrifice himself in the forest? would it be so easy for him to accept death? would there be any reason for him to do just that? of course not. and of course dumbledore knew all that. if the dursleys were indeed nice people dumbledore would probably find a different place for harry bc he needed him broken, he needed him selfless to the point where it’s unhealthy, he needed him to be the weapon to kill voldemort and nobody cares if weapons get a happy childhood, they’re just weapons after all.
#h a ha a if the dursleys showed harry compassion #harry who grows up emotionally healthy and dumbledore becomes a more obvious villain #because this child is fine he’s alright he’s capable and yes still with a hero complex #but he didn’t need dumbledore as a savior away from the cruel dursleys #and dumbledore has no emotional ammo to manipulate him with #so what would he do #say ”harry your mother would have wanted this” #because petunia would be right there too saying ”she’d want you happy and alive” #your mother never wanted you to drag yourselves through the mud for survival and heroism #she’d be proud of course her son’s a savior but she’d be so sad to see what you went through to win #so what would dumbledore say to be subtle and keep the veneer of good wise old man leader of the light #how would he push and pull harry onto his side and under his thumb #harry wouldnt need his approval at all #who would listen but with a clear mind #how would dumbledore sharpen his weapon when the weapon refuses to be held